I should be preparing my stuff for the three-day retreat. I already fixed my closet.. I organized my clothes and stuff. I couldn't decide on what to bring. It's Tagaytay, I know, but I want to wear something sleeveless then have some jacket over. I'm going to bring an extra pair of shoes and rubber slippers. Socks = must. I cannot survive if my feet are exposed to low temperature. I love the cold but.. cold feet? :3

Important thing that I should bring? My medicine pouch containing iron supplements and Advil. Seriously, if I get a headache, all hell will break loose. I don't like events with crowds, que horror.

I am trying not to panic. My thesis is.. zero. Nothing is happening. It feels like I'm the only one with thesis in mind. I guess, it's time for me to step-up.. :/

Oh dear. Downstairs, my sister is teasing our kid brother. Kiddie crush thing is cute but..

Before:

Dec 2008

 

 

After:

 

Nov 2009

-

So, ano nanyari? Nyahahahhaha

Time flies by so fast.

Just turned 19 today.

Thank you Lord for another year

I haven't been blogging. I've been busy with school shit and all. I had pictorial yesterday. Kewlness. :3

Random events:

- I learned how to iron clothes thanks to posters at YouTube.

- I learned how to use an eyeliner.

- Family and I went to Laguna for the usual cemetery stuff that I do not like.

- I used my new green dress for my creative photo.

- I sold my PSP.

- Chai had a haircut.

- I was able to encode my subjects.

- BIOTECH is starting to make me unhappy.

Yes. I am full of self-pity and I will not deny nor be ashamed of it.

Today, as I was about to get off from work, my supervisor asked me to stay behind because she wanted to tell me something important. 

She went like, "Remember that day you came to me, you were crying and asked me to leave early? That day you told me there was a little argument between you and your mom? You know, early that day, me and my daughter had an argument too. You see my daughter's 22 and still in college and she got pregnant. I got mad at her and told her very bad things. When you came to me crying and said something happened between you and your mom, I felt bad. It sort of occurred to me that maybe my daughter felt the same way so I called her right away and apologized for what happened. "

After she said that, I butted in and told her, "my mom didn't do the same." and I wanted to cry then and there. 

 

I know I made mistakes myself too. I am only human. I am capable of hurting others and getting myself hurt. I may have not said sorry directly and I may act defensively at most times. But thats just me. Thats how I am. It may sound rude but I am actually just defending myself. Not necessarily being disrespectful.

I've been trying to let everything go. I've been trying to move on. But I'm not that strong especially right now. I am at the most trying part of my life and its so hard to be alone. What makes it harder is when the person you expect to lend you support doesn't even give you any at all.

 

I'm getting tired of this really. I am so tired of trying, I am so tired of sticking it out on my own. For once, I want to be happy and be carefree. Be that blissful me who can laugh at things even at the most difficult times, me who can use my common sense and free will to think and decide things on my own.

 

My supervisor ended the talk by saying that I have to learn to live my life coz its short and this is a one time shot. That in the end, whatever I do, I only have myself to either blame or be proud of. 

 

Easier said than done. 
I am rather very tired and afraid at the same time. Tired and don't know how much longer I can take, Afraid of the things I might end up doing.

I don't know how much longer this'll be but I'll  try my best to stay on track. 

 

Dahil masyado ng occupied ang buhay ko ng mga aktibidades pang teknolohiya aka chat and schoolwork, nais kong bahagian kayo ng isang picture na nakita ko sa peysbuk.